Satan! Gay People! Teenage Sexual Experimentation! Are you freaked out yet? No, and why would you be? These are just a grouping of words with exclamation points on them to make it seem like I am yelling at you. But if I were to add to them and say something like Teenagers are joining the Church of Satan and sacrificing animals and even people we get something like The Satanic Panic of the 1980s. I tell you that teenage girls are putting different colors of lipstick on and blowing teenage boys to create a rainbow effect on their dicks, you get Rainbow Parties. These are two examples of moral panics. Moral panics normally start as some kind of urban legend that eventually gets fed into the populace as fact, via religious groups or the daytime talk show audience. And since no one watches talk shows and God is effectively dead, it has come to my attention that America hasn’t had a good moral panic since the early 2000s. Let’s change that.
Based on my brief understanding of demographics, the odds are that most of you reading this are selfish, narcissistic millennials. Millennials being the most offensive term of the bunch if TV news outlets and old people are to be believed. I don’t think we are more self-centered than the last generation. I simply believe that we have more access to reach the world than ever before, and if that hadn’t happened with this particular group of young people, the narcissistic claim would have stuck to any previous or future generation. With that being said, there are things I see on social media that would make me retract that claim.
Hey everyone. I’m taking a break from posting this week. I’m working on a couple poems I plan to submit to a local library’s lit magazine and want to use today to brainstorm/write one more quality work before submitting. I plan to start up again next week. If all goes according to plan my next couple posts will be essay-esque, admittedly inspired by reading a book of essays by David Foster Wallace. Thanks again for your patience and continued readership! I’ll see you all next week.
Will everyone please be seated? Or standed? Whatever. The 1st Annual Jancademy Awards will commence. Tonight we award the best, the brightest, the most technically inspiring of 2015. Let’s start. Leo, sit down. No one’s called you yet. They might not at all. You can’t see it but imagine Leonardo DiCaprio really sad that a literal nobody just told him to do something.