I saw a tweet the other day. I can’t recall the exact verbiage of the post but it went along the lines of “Barnes & Noble has Infinite Jest out on their stands because someone wants to prove they actually read it.” I guess by writing this I feel like I’m trying to prove something. I have read it. I thought it was excellent and probably one of the most unique books I have read. It’s clunky at first but it either smooths itself out or you become used to it by page 250, give or take. I want to read it with a group or a least another person, so I’m trying to convince my girlfriend to read it with me this summer.
Hey guys. No post today. I am taking a one week sabbatical. I’m close to finishing a draft and I want to focus more of my time on getting that done so I can get to editing. I will be back next week but I might only post bi-weekly for the next month or so. I will keep y’all updated. If you need your TWJ fix, I have a decently long archive that can keep you entertained for the afternoon. Thanks, everyone.
Oh no! A celebrity you are aware of but not a fan of has died. And in an age of rapid information sharing and crippling social anxiety being a meme, you panic. You have to show your support for your friends who are fans of these passed celebrities. Here are some tips for surviving a celebrity death.
I believe I have written enough material in the past year and change to officially consider myself a ‘writer’. When I think of what a writer is, I invoke visions of villas in countries I’ve never been to, interviews where I wax poetic with people I pretend to like, wicked prose, or a keyboard drowned in aged whiskey. So it was a surprise to me when, 15ish months after buying a keyboard and starting this blog as well as my first book, that I am still at home. I am shirtless in a pair of gym shorts. I am pasty and I now have a bit of a belly that hangs over said shorts. I have a cup of coffee and I can’t confidently drink whiskey without coughing. At least I have a desk, one that is slowly accumulating books I have yet to read.
Yesterday was Loki-versary. You probably don’t know who Loki is, let alone why his anniversary is important. Loki is my girlfriend’s cat. An American Domestic with dark stripes and an M on his forehead. Two years ago he came into her (our) life (lives). Loki has to be the most socialized, people-friendly cat I have ever met, and resembles that of a dog in his need to follow any human that will give him attention. Aside from the respiratory condition, causing him to leave chunky boogers on walls and his penchant for knocking things over in the middle of the night for attention it has been smooth sailing. That wouldn’t make a great article. The story of how we got him, however, is.
Unless you were part of a recently liberated, anti-technology doomsday cult, you probably know by now that election season is upon us. And whether you’re afraid of terrorism or enraged at our oligarchical system, it’s likely that you have already made up your mind on who you’re voting for. But allow me to tap an idea into your brain; the idea that maybe we are choosing all wrong. Healthcare? Abortion? Foreigners? These things don’t apply to me. You know what does? Traffic, deciding where to go for lunch, losing something although you swore you just had it a minute ago, etc. Everyday things we all do. Instead of voting for these people based on what they say, let’s vote based on how they reflect us in everyday life.
Hey, everyone. I wanted to get my blog out but I have to fill out some forms to get some of my money back(taxes). instead of postponing until next week I’m going to post tomorrow, as a special Wednesday edition of Tuesday’s With Jan. Sorry
Based on my demographics, most reading this are in probably in the 18-30 age range, and based on my casual browsing of Facebook, most of you wish you did not exist in 2016. What do I mean? I see memes pop up all the time with a picture of a picturesque representation of the 30s, 50s or 60s, always followed by the caption I wish I lived here or I was born in the wrong generation! Why? Let’s talk it out.
Satan! Gay People! Teenage Sexual Experimentation! Are you freaked out yet? No, and why would you be? These are just a grouping of words with exclamation points on them to make it seem like I am yelling at you. But if I were to add to them and say something like Teenagers are joining the Church of Satan and sacrificing animals and even people we get something like The Satanic Panic of the 1980s. I tell you that teenage girls are putting different colors of lipstick on and blowing teenage boys to create a rainbow effect on their dicks, you get Rainbow Parties. These are two examples of moral panics. Moral panics normally start as some kind of urban legend that eventually gets fed into the populace as fact, via religious groups or the daytime talk show audience. And since no one watches talk shows and God is effectively dead, it has come to my attention that America hasn’t had a good moral panic since the early 2000s. Let’s change that.
Based on my brief understanding of demographics, the odds are that most of you reading this are selfish, narcissistic millennials. Millennials being the most offensive term of the bunch if TV news outlets and old people are to be believed. I don’t think we are more self-centered than the last generation. I simply believe that we have more access to reach the world than ever before, and if that hadn’t happened with this particular group of young people, the narcissistic claim would have stuck to any previous or future generation. With that being said, there are things I see on social media that would make me retract that claim.