The Banes Of My Existence

While they differ, everyone has those one or two appliances/products they have to buy every couple months because they break so easily for them.  My parents buy vacuums about as often as they buy groceries.  My brother is on the start of his monthly tablet/kindle, but I can’t tell if that one is intentional or not.  Here are the banes of my existence.

Earphones­– Every couple months or so, I find myself in a WalMart, Walgreen’s or some other place with walls, with a pair of Skullcandy’s or other earphone product.  I listen heavily for a bit until one day, I hear it; and by it I mean nothing, because one of my earphones decided to retire early.  I go back to The Walls, pick up a new pair, and go repeat the process until my earphones are nothing more than inedible spaghetti.  But John, you say to me, because you always have something to say, why don’t you take a chance on an expensive pair of headphones, like Beats By Dre™?  And I will say something like Well since they break so often, I don’t want to take the chance but you, always nagging, will retort This only happens because you buy cheap earphones.  To this I don’t reply and I leave you reflecting on my paradoxical train of thought.

Printers­– I have three printers at home.  Two are paperweights and the other one is in a box because I don’t need a third paperweight.  I’ll get maybe two weeks decent use out of one until the thing can only flash in error or print crooked hieroglyphics, which is just a fancy name for waste.  My printers literally print garbage.  I’ve learned restraint but I won’t hesitate to punch a broken printer, and I won’t hesitate to break my hand in further breaking that printer.

Phone Cases- This one is kind of my fault.  I think, in the back of my mind, I get bored of the case I already have and I want a new aesthetic.  New case, new phone.  So, to get to this point faster, my brain takes advantage of my probable lack of nutrition, and I’ll chew on the plastic parts of my case.  Before I know it I’m looking at my phone, thinking I can’t have this.  I need a new case!   And so I find myself back at The Walls or Amazon.


I realize that my articles sometimes don’t promote conversation.  What appliances/objects make your life just a bit more terrible than it needs to be?  Comment below.  You don’t need a WordPress account to comment!

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