The 2016 Facebook Profile Pic Schedule

Some years ago, for some reason, some guy or girl was staring at their late 2000s Facebook account.  They were going through their wall and their simplistic newsfeed, posting statuses like is going out or is Mondays am I right? Or is oh crap (an actual Facebook status of mine from 2008).  This person looked at their profile picture, a picture they took with their 1.6 MP camera that looked good at the time but looking at them now would you make you think that everyone in the late 2000s were melting, the same way we picture the 50s as black and white.  This person needed a profile pic and fast, so they went into their saved photos folder and pulled out a random jpeg of a Pokemon.  It caught on and now, every December, a dedicated group changes their profile pics for Pokemon Profile Pic December.  I don’t care about this at all, but I began to wonder what these people would change their profile pics to if there was a profile pic celebration every month of the year.

Jar Jar Binks January­– At the stroke of midnight, New Year’s Day, everyone changes their pics to the greatest Star Wars character.  Meesa gon love 2016.

Quesadilla Profile Pic February­– It rolls off the tongue about as much as Pokemon Profile Pic December.  Everyone changes their profile pic to a quesadilla.  Oozing cheese optional.

Mike or Mitch March- Everyone changes their pic to someone in their friends list with the name Mike or Mitch.

Holidaypril- Everyone changes their pics to Christmas trees and stockings, to further remind Easter that itis a lesser holiday.

It’s gonna be May The 4th Be With You May- Every person who posts this(or these) fucking joke(s) must keep a picture of a turd as their default pic, so that way anyone who chooses to add them can know up front that they are about as funny as a saltine cracker.

July Pic June- Post a pic of yourself from July.

July- Delete your Facebook.  Ride a bike.  Go outside.

Scarlet Letter August- Everyone who has committed adultery must change their pic to a Scarlet A.  No one reads their timeline the entire month.

September Pics of Jan- Pics of me, everywhere, all month.  Every Man Crush Monday and Woman Crush Wednesday must also reference me.

October- Actually, this can extend into October too.

Never Stop Shaving November– Shave yourself every waking moment the entire month.  Post daily pics of your progress as you shave yourself into oblivion.

Purgatory Profile Pic December– You died shaving yourself.  Change your pic to a selfie of you against the nothingness that will be your home forever or until somebody in charge makes a decision.  At least you still have LTE service.

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