What Your Facebook Shares Say About You

Sharing something on Facebook gives the average newsfeed scroller insight into the person that you are.  Let’s see what some of these shares could mean.

Political Memes- Whether you are discussing abortion, healthcare, the weather, or how dope the pizza you’re eating is, you start every sentence in your daily life with “I’m not a political person, but…”

Anything From I Fucking Love Science– You’re a late teenager/early 20 something that has a tenuous grasp on science but, in sharing IFLS links, you feel like Einstein or Feynman.  Your superiority complex is greater than the scientists actually making these discoveries.

“Share!  If u don’t u will receive bad luck”- If I were to tell you to look down ten times in a row and, when you did, I brought my finger up and swiped your nose, you would listen to me 10/10 times.

Minion Memes- You’re a mother of at least two children, but you want to show them that you’re still “With it!”  If you do not fit in with this demographic, STOP SHARING MINION MEMES.

A Picture of Will Ferrell or Zach Galifianakis Accompanied With A Joke- You are an unfunny person.  Also, taking your bad/racist joke and imposing it on a picture of another comedian won’t make your awful joke any funnier.

Poems Porn-  Like real porn, you like hollow recreations of actual poetry.

The “I Do Not Authorize Facebook To Give My Info Away” Chain Post- You’ve had Facebook for so long you don’t remember the terms & agreements you blindly accepted when you signed up.

“Funny” E-Cards- You hate work.  You hate your co-workers.  You hate Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays.  You hate weekends because they remind you that you have to go back to work eventually.  Is there anything you don’t hate?  Yes, there is.  Drinking.

Only 90s Kids!  Memes- You lie awake at night in a cold sweat.  You feel your joints creaking.  You hear every bone in your body shift when you try to move.  You’re finding the first of your gray hairs.  You share pics of Hey! Arnold or Rocket Power in hopes to cling to the youth that is only getting further and further away from you.

Cute Pet Videos– You’re probably a normal person but be careful.  If you share too much, people will expect to find you dead under a furry mass of kittens.

Cooking Videos- You will never actually make this dish.  You will only have this food through the comfort of your phone screen.

Elite Daily Articles- You’re forever single.  You refer to your peers as “People from my generation.”  You share articles about relationships and dating written by people who understand the two about as well as you do.

Tuesdays With Jan Articles- You’re pretty cool.  You appreciate wicked humor.  I love you.  Keep never changing.  Have a great summer!!!

One thought on “What Your Facebook Shares Say About You

  1. Pingback: An Open Letter To My Jans – Tuesdays With Jan

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