Trigger Warning: Group texts imply a large group of friends. For that, I apologize in advance to anyone who is triggered by large groups of friends.
If you’re reading this right now, there is a very good chance you have started or been a part of a group text. Group texts are great. They can be used to organize plans, keeping up with family, or they could be used for general conversation if you like talking to a lot of people. Sometimes, a group text reveals certain roles within your group of friends. Here are the four people you meet in a group text.
1- The “Who is this?” Guy
Like real life, you’re bound to not know everyone. Same goes for group texts. There is likely to be at least one number that is unrecognizable. Most people shrug it off. It’s probably the cousin of the group text’s leader, or an out of town friend that no one has met. Or it’s someone you don’t care about enough to save their number. And odds are, if they say they’re going, you’ll meet him. But this guy is an inquisitive type and starts every group conversation off with the classic “Who is this?” or “I don’t know these numbers” forgetting that the person they’re asking doesn’t know them either. “Who is this” guy doesn’t like strangers. “Who is this” guy fears change. “Who is this” guy is baffled by an area code different than his own. “Who is This” guy demands answers, and will not rest until he finds out it’s someone he’s never met.
2- The Guy Who Wants Out
Group texts can be a hassle. The more involved the group, the more your phone goes off. They’re battery drainers. Guy Who Wants Out could speak up at any time and calmly request to be removed. But Guy Who Wants Out saves this rage and, at the heart of conversation, strikes. Sometimes it’s “GET ME OUT OF THIS FUCKING TEXT.” Other times it’s a blunt “remove me” that is lost behind a sea of notifications. This guy, “Every Message is a MultiMedia Message” Guy and “I Still Own a Flip Phone” guy are essentially the same person.
3- Le Troll
This guy loves messing around with people. This guy loves sending dank memes when the chat goes quiet. This guy loves “Who is This” guy for all the wrong reasons. This guy hears about plans indirectly, and wonders why no one uses group chat anymore.
The day is done, chat has ceased, and everyone’s phone is tucked away on their chargers readying themselves for tomorrow. Then it happens. The hum of a vibrating phone across a wooden table. Your bedroom ceiling is illuminated by grayish light. Your eyes creak open, annoyed. Who could this be at this hour? You wonder. You pull your phone toward you, allowing enough time for your eyes to acclimate to the light. Your eyes focus on a lone message, comically tragic.
“Hey guys. Just got this.”
You set your phone back down but before you do that your hand trembles. You look again to see the sentiment of a different group member:
“Someone PLEASE take me out of this.”
Groaning, you set your phone upside down to mask the light. But a few moments you are greeted by another message:
“Who is this?”
You toss your phone under a stack of clothes that are at least visually clean. Thankfully you dodge the text from “The Troll” saying he’s Leonardo DiCaprio.